it's not always rainbows and butterflies over here, across the pond. i've had my fair share of highs and lows (no pun intended). last friday was a low, oddly enough. i took the day off for a weekend 'holiday' in stockholm. i should have exuded excitement at the opportunity to discover a new city. instead, i spent most of my afternoon on trains, planes, and buses desperately seeking a 'zen moment' to combat a truckload of emotions.
my greatest fear is leaving FareShare without proper closure. this summer has zoomed by at top speed. sometimes i feel as if i'm on autopilot. i've unintentionally made a routine of absorbing as much as i can without really processing it. that's the scary part. i didn't even realize i was doing it until i tried to journal on the way to stockholm. a thousand thoughts and experiences raced through my head, completely overwhelming me.
i failed to mention that fellow serviceshippers krista caballero and brian gordon join up with me in london on thursday to launch part two of my journey, a marathon sprint of children's camps and tourism. the pressure of another month of travel further inundated my mind with emotions. i feared that failing to reflect properly would affect the memories of my experiences in london, something i never ever want to forget. i'd push everything to the back of my mind until i returned home to jacksonville for a week and sort it all out in between visits with family, friends, and doctor appointments.
(i know, i know. i over think. it's a tragic flaw.)
ironically enough, stockholm was perfect for reflection. that weekend, i reunited with an old friend who's interning with a CSR consultant group in hamburg, germany. it was a glorious weekend of food and therapy as we discussed the challenges of beginning a new life in a different country (props to her-- at least the UK speaks english). all of the frustrations i failed to record on paper disappeared. i returned to london proud of my independence, my personal growth, my journey...
after jeredine returned from holiday, i continued to run the depot a couple of mornings a week. this morning was my last time as a shift manager at FareShare. of course, everything went wrong. it always does. i found two unexpected deliveries waiting for me: 10 pallets from M&S, 7 pallets of yoghurt from ASDA. bonus: my fridges were full, i had yet to allocate today's food, and corporate volunteers were arriving in less than an hour. stress levels were high but i survived-- with a huge smile on my face. deep down, i know i'd be disappointed if there wasn't a bit of a challenge on my last day (in charge-- my last day as a volunteer is tomorrow).
i've spent my week committing to memory the faces of the people i work with. i'm slowly coming to terms with the fact that tomorrow is my last day. i don't like goodbyes. each day i say my farewells to a different set of volunteers. i lost count at how many times i teared up today. i think i'll just carry around a box of tissues tomorrow. the waterworks will definitely be flowing. i'm not a sappy, sentimental person but it's those darn warm fuzzies that do me in. a note of praise from a colleague who won't be in tomorrow, a special trip to bring me back a card from a volunteer, and an apple pie from the builders- a tribute to the day i couldn't find a slice in borough market on the 4th of july.
this was truly an experience i will never forget.
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